When you ask for help...

When I started the eHarmony Cracked Google Group, I was pleasantly surprised by the enthusiasm and spirit of it's membership.

And, in general, people in the community like to help people who are learning the ropes. And I've been pretty happy with how the community has come to embrace it's new members.

But... sometimes, people ask questions, and wonder why they don't get replies.

When, the truth is, if they got replies, they might have to break the "please be civil" rule.

So, if you're a first time poster... here's some advice.

Show that you've read the information on the blog.
One of the most commonly unanswered questions falls along the lines of, "I've done something completely different from what the blog recommends... what small changes do I need to make?"

Actually, I'm glad that people experiment with ideas that don't come from the blog. And, a lot of times, even I learn new things from my members. And, yes, members do support fellow members who've done spectacularly stupid things...

But, if you don't show that you're even familiar with the information on the blog... most people don't want to go through the effort writing long essays repeating what I've already said.

Yeah, I know. There are a lot of articles. If you're new, I'd start from the earliest articles - those provide the basics.

In general, members are much less likely to answer questions like:

"I've just exchanged 16 messages with a woman, and spent hours on MSN with her, talking about the things we have in common... but I still can't get a date with her."

than,

"I know that Scott tells people to send letter #3 when a woman tells him to go to MSN chat... but I spend a lot of time on the service, and it might be easier than the phone. Has anyone made MSN work for them?"

The second poster demonstrates that he has some grasp of what's been said. People will wonder whether the first poster even bothered to read the blog before asking for help.

And if you disagree with a point on the blog? That's fine. It's good to reexamine topics once in awhile. But you need to show that you're at least familiar with what's been said.

Be specific
People are generous with their time on our group. But that generosity isn't infinite. And people don't like to write book-length essay answers to one-sentence questions.

So, if you ask, "How do I write a good profile?", prepare to be ignored. Or, at best, politely told to click the "Profile building" section, and read in reverse chronological order.

But "profile critiques" are a time-honored tradition on our Google group.

And "How do you think this will work..." questions can also provoke good conversation.

Check the archives
Finally, sometimes you'll have a question that's already been recently answered on the Google Group.

In general, it's best to look through the group, and see if your question's already been answered.

Stick to the topic
In general, eHarmony Cracked provides unique coverage of these topics:

• What things work (and don't work) on eHarmony.
• Transitioning from eHarmony into the first dates.
• Long-term relationships, and integrating PUA techniques into a long-term-relationship friendly frame.
• Discussion of the "Attachment model".

Our group probably is the best place to address these topics - other seduction-related boards simply don't cover them.

Other topics might generate some discussion in our Google group, and, in general, I don't censor topics unless they're both inflammatory and flagrantly off-topic. (For example, trying to start a heated political discussion.)

But, off-topic questions may not get the highest quality answers. Or people who are interested in carrying the discussion forward.

So, if it doesn't carry? Don't be upset. Outside of the topics that I've listed, there are plenty of other places on the internet. Many of which can provide better answers than our little group.