An online tip that will HURT you on eHarmony...

One bit of online advice that has hit the "seduction community" is the importance of setting standards in an online profile.

Some seduction gurus suggest "cold-reads". Saying that you're looking for something vaguely positive that most women will agree with. For example, "Someone who has a beautiful energy". Or vague references to being intelligent, or social. Which seem to imply standards... but, when you look closer, you can see that few women will disqualify themselves for being dumb, lazy, or unhappy with their lives.

Others suggest a laundry list of saying that you're "too good" for some of the parasites that hit online dating services. That you're not a sugar-daddy, and that you're not into head games or power plays, and so forth.

You'll notice that I've never suggested doing any of these things.

There's a reason. I've experimented with them. And every time that I've done this, my eHarmony response rate has always went down.

Now, I can't speak to what's effective on other services. And a lot of the guys making these suggestions run pretty rigorous experiments to prove that their advice is correct.

In the end, I've always done best with coming back to what the "About me" section is supposed to do - generate interest. Self-confidence is part of what generates that interest. And self-confident guys don't play with their guards up.

Think about it. You're about to go through guided communication and email. You, and every guy on this service has plenty of opportunities to make a woman qualify.

It's the rare guy that will make this process challenging, fun and social. And I've done a lot better when I've been open to getting to know a person better.

And, yes, I still will make judgements. But I'll judge them after you've learned something, rather than before.

It's different... but it's worked for me.

So, don't set demands in your profile. Just talk about yourself in a cool, casual, and intriguing way.

You'll be implying your standards anyway. And you don't need to be unfriendly about it.