Thursday, April 3, 2008

Oooh... She's getting angry!

Sadly, it's easy for women to take things the wrong way when you communicate by email. And, once in awhile, women will become angry at the things they misinterpret.

So, how do you handle a woman who's becoming angry?

Here's my advice.

Don't write a hasty response
On those rare occasions that you'll get an angry letter, don't be in a hurry to respond.

Wait at least a day. And strongly consider waiting longer.

Think for a minute. If you're a guy who has a lot of women to meet, why do you want to give your time to someone who's acting hostile?

Take a few hours. Relax. And talk to the normal, happy women.

They deserve a lot more attention than the ones with hair-trigger tempers.

If she's over the line, just close.
If she's being abusive or threatening, she deserves no response. Close her. Period. And consider reporting her behavior to eHarmony.

And thank the lucky stars that you didn't actually meet.

Are there lessons to be learned?
Next, you should ask yourself, "Did I do anything to deserve this angry response?"

If it's something that you've done with a lot of other women - probably not.

But if you tried something new... you know not to try it again.

Your new goal: Walk away, and feel good doing it.
Bottom line? Once a woman turns hostile, attempting to meet her will become a futile effort.

And, really, why do you want to meet someone who's angry with you?

Your time is precious. Spend it with the people who are eager to meet you.

If you must express anger, do it through humor.
Maybe she's offended you in some way with her response. And you're resentful.

It's best not to address your anger at all when you respond. Because, when you act angry, you're telling her that her opinion matters.

She's a stranger. And a stranger that's probably nuts. Her opinion shouldn't matter to you.

If you must address her opinion, do it through humor. Exaggerate.

Something along the lines of, "Drat! You've foiled my evil scheme to...", and exaggerate her implication tenfold.

It still lets her know that she's out of line. And that you're at least unhurt enough to make a joke out of it.

Address her wound
Bottom line? If a woman has such a hair-trigger temper, there's usually a reason.

Go ahead and address her wound. Something along the lines of, "Anyway, it seems like you're pretty stressed out. Especially if you're attacking a guy who's just trying to get to know you a little better."

Tell her good-bye, for now

And, finally, yes. You can, and should tell her that you're not going to waste your time with someone who's so hostile.

But, again, you shouldn't give her the benefit of your anger.

I like to close with something along the lines of, "Anyway, you seemed like a (some genuine one-word compliments) woman... it's too bad that we've met when you're in such a bad emotional space. If you ever get back to a place where you're able to (whatever she should have done instead of blow a hissy fit), shoot me an email at _____.

But, no. Don't expect an email.

Ignore any hostile responses
If you write this message, you should feel good. That's the point of writing messages like this. You're not feeding into her anger - you're just quietly giving her hints to help her in the future.

But, some women might not be happy until you're angry. And you might get some more angry invectives.

Ignore them. You've said everything that you need to.

Close and block.

And move on to the women who are eager to talk to you.


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