Yesterday, I talked about one of the biggest killers of early relationships.
Most women, when they're first talking about starting a relationship? They're ambivalent.
But when a guy sees this ambivalence, and pushes even harder for the relationship that he desires... it's a sure ticket to, "You're a great guy, but I'm not ready for a relationship" town.
So, what what do you do about this?
You really need to stop pushing for the relationship.
I hate to say this, but if she's ambivalent, and you're pushing a relationship after one date... she's got the healthier attitude.
Why are you so all-fired sure that you want a relationship with this woman after a few hours?
Do you even know this woman?
For chrissake - she's on "first date" behavior. You won't even see what she's really like until months pass.
So, cool your jets. Enjoy the date.
And wait for her to prove herself worthy of a relationship.
Make her convince you.
So, how do you move from mutual, healthy ambivalence to a relationship?
More to come...
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3 comments:
What percentage of people in our culture wait months to find out about someone?
Imagine the TV shows if the writers had to simulate months passing - it doesn't often happen and our culture seems to take its cue from the accelerated pace.
That said, I'm on the slow boat myself and so long as it keeps moving forward, I'm ok with it but I sure get a lot of stick from my peers for "being so slow".
I think you're talking about sex here, not emotional commitment.
They're not (usually) the same thing.
I'll work that into the model later. :-)
Actually, I wasn't talking about sex but understand why you might think I was.
I'll wait and read the rest of your articles on this before I comment further though.
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