Attachment Phase 1: But are you special?

A little time has passed during your first date.

You've passed "Phase 0". You've established that, in fact, you are having a good time with her. And she's having a good time with you.

And, if you want to be friends... either of you can leave things be.

But, is the chemistry there?

There's the rub.

Everyone has their own unconscious "attraction triggers". Things that they're hungry for, and are seeking in someone else.

Some of us are conscious of them. Some of us aren't. Most people, if asked, "What kind of guy are you attracted to?" will give a mixture of answers - and some of them will be "socially correct" things to say, but which aren't really attraction triggers at all. They may also name some "triggers" that relate to true attraction triggers, and some may actually be true.

But, if you're hitting them? She'll let you know with some of the deeper "indicators of interest" that pickup artists discuss.

This phase is where standard pick-up advice stands out. Because many of the "stunts" that pickup artists use hit common attraction triggers. And the men who truly hit a woman's emotional triggers are rare in most women's lives.

Now, you don't go overboard here. You don't want to tell a woman that you're able to provide something that you don't really want to provide. If dazzling her makes you feel bad, rather than good, don't do it. Remember, the goal is your mutual happiness, not a "successful seduction".

And, when everything's said and done, you may find that a woman isn't meeting your attraction triggers.

In which case - stay at phase 0. And enjoy the evening. And anything else that you may enjoy as friends.

You're probably wondering, "What are these common attraction triggers?"

Well, I can't list them all. But I can talk about some common ones.

... And I'll talk about 'em tomorrow.