So, you've crossed phase 0 attachment. You're friends, but chemistry still needs to be established.
This is a point where, if you haven't started to establish touch... you need to. In this phase, contact should be friendly and playful, but not particularly intimate. Act like she's a friend that you're starting to flirt with.
Some women are more demonstrative than others. Keep that in mind. The state of physical escalation is a clue to your state of attachment, but only a clue. Some women are very reserved with contact. Some women will kiss you in phase 1. It doesn't change the state of attachment.
But, yes, phase 1 is where you see whether the "chemistry" is in sync. And, if you like my theory, you can even break it down. Is she seeing you as idealizable? For what? Are you seeing her as idealizable? Do you enjoy the mirroring and twinship processes? Is she showing indicators of interest demonstrating that you're seeing the potential, in each other, to meet these basic social needs?
If so, you're special. You're feeling particularly good around each other. The chemistry - it's there.
And you're ready for another phase.
Because, chemistry, alone... is scary for most women.
And I'll continue the "attachment model" in a few days.
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1 comment:
Scott....you've hit it right on. Yes....chemistry by itself without anything scares me. Why? Because, from the past...chemistry by itself did not sustain a relationship (not to mention that we lose all sense of sensibility when there is so much of it). Enough said!
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