Phase 2: "I'm having feelings... but are they safe?"

So, you've navigated phase 1. She's got feelings for you. The chemistry is there.

Well, that doesn't mean it's smooth sailing from here on out.

The fact is, if you're meeting someone on eHarmony, she's an adult. Not a doey-eyed teenager. She's probably been hurt by many of the people she's had chemistry with before. And she's still
going to be nervous.

So, how do you keep her from freaking out?

Do you remember, "twinship"? Because, if you've been in relationships before, you should feel the same way that she does. You feel like there may be some promise... but you've been wrong before as well. And you need time to be sure.

Share the experience of being unsure. You don't want to unburden her all at once with your romantic tales of woe. But she'll be curious about yours. And you'll be curious about hers. It's a process that will unfold slowly.

Let her ask the questions that will reveal what has gone wrong for you in the past. But expect her to do the same in return.

Yes, pickup artists do have techniques for "comfort building". Some of these techniques are appropriate for the "long game". Others aren't. If you try to use techniques, make sure they're congruent with your goals.

And they're only for the earliest stages of Phase 2. You need to build more trust in pursuing a mutual, trusting relationship than in pursuing one that is purely physical.

By this time, you may be wondering: "When do we finally get it on?"

It usually happens during phase 2.

And I'll talk about it tomorrow.