When your career "intimidates" your dates...

It's a "cycle of defeat" that hurts both men and women.

Men often come to eHarmony with high hopes. After all, they're accomplished doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs... or whatnot. And they expect women to come flocking to them, because they've got a solid career.

That rarely works. And guys often think that they're intimidating women with their career choices.

In women? Surprisingly, you can often see the same thing, as this blogger notes.

So... is it possible that your high-powered career is scaring the crap out of your potential dates?

Well, it can happen. A lot of my dates, at first, will make not-so-joking comments about their fears about dating someone with my career. I'm sure that a few women did decide to run away rather than find out more about me.

But, really. If a someone is that scared of me, because of my accomplishments... what does that say about her?

To me - it says she's easily scared. Or that her self-esteem is really low.

In that case - I'm glad she's disqualified herself. And, in the time I saved myself in avoiding that date, I'm out finding five other (and much more worthy) women.

So, no. When it happens, I don't get upset.

But, often, men and women might say this to themselves when they're not doing well on eHarmony.

And they're often overlooking something important.

As I've commented before (and my female commentor agreed), career accomplishments are not enough to make yourself stand out from the crowd.

You need to show people what other things about you make you interesting.

You can't just stand on the laurels of your career accomplishments.