After the high...

As I said in my last article, most relationships have a "high period" during the first 6-12 months. During this time, your brain is pushing out pleasure chemicals, just by being around (and intimate with) your girlfriend.

And, during this time, it's hard to really evaluate how stable a relationship is. Your brain chemistry is, literally, fighting you every step of the way.

So, relax. Have a great time.

By the end of the "high period", you're seeing the relationship a little more rationally.

You probably don't see your girlfriend as "perfect" any more. You're seeing her faults.

If it's a good relationship, you're getting along great anyway. If not... there's a dark side to this phase.

Although this drug may not be providing as much of an ecstatic high anymore... it's absence causes a lot of pain. And, yes, neurochemical changes are also prominent when a long-term relationship goes sour. There's a reason you're depressed when it happens.

But, this short-term withdrawal is still better than staying with someone who you can't be happy with.

So, what's the mental frame for this phase?

"This seems like it's working. Let's see if we can keep it that way." And, if so, this is a good period for moving in together, planning marriage, and so forth.

To a lot of you, that future seems a long way away. A lot of you are struggling with the beginning... and we'll talk about that tomorrow.