What were you EXPECTING eHarmony to solve?

The eHarmony ad copy looks so nice. It just makes finding "the love of your life" seem so effortless.

Just answer a few questions, jump through a few hoops - and, whammo. Instant happiness, right?

I wish eHarmony solved all of the problems involved with meeting "the love of your life".

But, in fact, it only solves one.

If you're having trouble meeting people - it will introduce you to people that it considers compatible.

That's it.

Unfortunately, many people expect eHarmony to provide instant bliss - not just a list of potential matches.

And, some people have some unrealistic expectations.

Some people subscribe to eHarmony because they want to meet people... but they're too busy to actually meet. Some need to deal with some personal problems before they're ready to date. Some are out of bad relationships, and continue to grind their axes. Some people have very narrow definitions of "compatible" that conflict with eHarmony's.

And I understand these problems. But they can't be solved by eHarmony.

So, how can you deal with it?

Relax.

First, take a look at yourself. If you have problems that won't be solved with a list of matches, you need to solve them. Don't expect a "compatible" match to solve the problem for you.

And, when you actually meet your matches... realize that a lot of them were looking for eHarmony to magically solve problems that eHarmony can't solve.

So... take it easy. You're meeting someone new.

You don't need to propose marriage tomorrow.