Ways to ruin a number close

So, you feel like you're ready to move away from my open communication templates, and wing it.

That's fine. But there are a lot of very common mistakes that people make when they first try to break away from the templates.

In no particular order, here are some of the most common.

Saying you're busy, acting like you aren't
It's one thing to say that you're a busy guy. But, a lot of guys give subtle hints that they really aren't as busy as they claim to be.

You'll notice that my templates gradually build the grounds for the idea that you're a busy guy. Your emails should do the same.

If you're responding to her emails too quickly, or you're nagging her for not responding quickly enough... it's a sign that you're not really all that busy. At most, write one letter a day - and wait a good long time before writing it. Consider longer pauses, when you want to accentuate your busyness. And if she doesn't respond to a message, wait a week before sending a gentle reminder. (And if you're doing things right, those reminders will be extremely rare.)

If you're writing messages that are longer than my templates... it's a sign that you have the time to write long-winded essays to women that you haven't met.

If you have the time to type out answers to every single question that she asks... you're showing that you're not that busy.

... and if you've got time to argue with her over the fact that she's not giving you a phone number, you're definitely not a busy guy.

Continuing the "sales pitch"
Another key ingredient that you'll notice in my templates... I don't talk much about myself.

You shouldn't need to. You've already shown her that you're an interesting guy. She's already went through three rounds of guided communication. If she's still going... she's interested in learning more about you.

So... I stop selling.

I ask questions about her. Because I'm not sold yet.

It's her job to sell me on the idea of meeting.

And she'll value what she earns. Not on what just appears.

A phone number isn't a favor. It's a way to talk some more.
Most guys on eHarmony will treat a woman's phone number like it's a prize to be won.

If you use my templates, it's not.

It acknowledges that you're both curious about each other. It acknowledges that you're a busy guy, who doesn't have the time to engage in endless cyberchat.

The phone is an answer to a problem. It's not a favor to be won.

And when you don't treat it as a favor... women are comfortable in talking to you.

And if she refuses? Don't beg. Just stay busy. If someone doesn't respond to a phone number request, I generally won't write her for at least a week. When she realizes that you're too busy to engage in cyberchat... she'll either agree to the phone call, or she'll give up.

And it's really that simple.