Lately, I've been getting a lot of letters that say things like, "I've been reading your blog, and I can see a lot of the mistakes that I've made. My subscription is about to run out, but I think I want to give it another try now."
It's a reaction that I didn't expect when I started this blog. And, although it's a reaction that might be right for some people... I'm not sure that it's a good move for everyone.
I do hope that my blog has provided some people with more confidence, and a realization that doing "badly" on eHarmony doesn't mean anything about your worth as a person. Or as a potential boyfriend/husband/whatever.
But, some people see eHarmony as a crutch. They need to address some problems in their lives, and see eHarmony as a shortcut to avoiding those changes.
Some people are overscheduled, and see eHarmony as a way to feel like they're getting to know someone. Or they've got crippling problems with shyness or low self-esteem that become easier to manage when the other person isn't visible. Or, they need to develop better real-life social skills.
Again, as I've said before, the only problem that eHarmony solves is the "I can't meet enough dateable people" problem. And even then, if you can't see eHarmony as an entertaining sideline to your life... you're going to do badly.
Bottom line? If you think that eHarmony might be a fun way to spend another $20/month... go ahead.
But, if you've got problems that eHarmony can't solve... do yourself a favor. Solve those problems first.
After you do that, you'll be in a better position to meet people.
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1 comment:
I wish MORE people followed this advice! Lately, I've met some individuals who are looking for someone to validate them. I've become better at identifying them, but some still get past the screening process, and it's not until the first date that I find out they need some healing. It's a waste of my time and theirs.
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