Indifference... You CAN take it too far.

When people first start getting accustomed to the pick-up artist literature, they often see how they might have scared women off by showing too much interest, too early.

So, they take the community advice. They relax. They act as though they're not really all that interested yet. They might even give the woman a little bit of a hard time.

When they do this, they notice that the woman will begin to relax, and may start becoming excited by the interaction.

The guy thinks he's doing well... so, he does what he did to get to this point. He stays indifferent.

And that's where the troubles often begin.

Because, if a woman is starting to show interest, and the man doesn't reciprocate (or try to qualify her for interest, but even that can be taken too far)... she starts to wonder why.

Some of the possibilities that will run through her head?

• He's not that interested. And, if that's sustained... her thoughts will turn toward "sour grapes".
• He's conflicted. And if he's that much of an emotional mess, and she has any measure of self-esteem, she won't be interested in working through whatever the guy's hidden problems are.
• He's socially incompetent. And women with decent self-esteem aren't interested in training guys in how and when to make a move.

All bad things from taking a good thing too far.

So... if you're stuck here, study the PUA literature. Read up on Indicators of Interest (or IOIs.) Learn the better ways to show early interest. And start getting comfortable with escalating touch (or kino, as the PUAs call it).

Once you figure it out, it isn't hard to master.

(Oh, and ladies? I think this advice will work well for you too!)

Bitten Chick adds:

It always makes me chuckle when a guy friend scoffs at girls who play hard to get -- because most men who've had any measure of success at dating have done the same thing, albeit in a much more subtle way. The indifference tactic is brilliant in that you stir a woman's desire for you by way of your (apparent) lack of interest. But a little bit goes a long way, and sustained patterns of feigned disinterest will earn you the title of "emotionally detached" rather than "cool cucumber".

Now I'm not saying that woman have it all figured out, as Miss "Plays Hard To Get" is going to have trouble getting gotten if she's programmed herself into always being chased and never meeting the guy halfway. The best "pickup artist" style advice I've seen for this kind of maneuvering comes from The Art Of Seduction (a PUA bible at its finest!) in the chapter that examines the Hot & Cold Coquette archetype. Author Robert Greene explains that showing interest (hot) and then pulling away (cold) is an extremely effective way of sustaining intrigue and desire.

The key, for those who would like to use this technique within the dating realm (rather than simply for manipulation), is to choose a woman whom you really are genuinely interested in. That way, subtly showing your interest, then backing away and letting her come to you, becomes more like a dance rather than a puppet master throwing his hapless victim a bone. You want to wear your indifference like a mysterious veil, rather than an impenetrable mask.

Seduction is like a balanced diet -- and even the most fastidiously healthy eater knows that there's a time and a place for sweets -- or in the seductive realm, being sweet. Just be careful not to become a "Sugar Daddy" ... But that's a whole other topic. ;-)