Why PUA approaches don't work

In the beginning... there were the PUAs. (Pick-up Artists) Essentially, a group of nerds who used their intellect and bravery to scientifically figure out how to attract desirable women.

Their first target - the bar.

And they became successful. They discovered that, in order to be successful at bar pickup, they had to do what most people didn't.

Most people would buy drinks for a woman before even talking to her, give shallow compliments, or try to brag about themselves. The PUAs became successful by doing something completely different. They pretended not to pay attention to their "target" at all - only to start an interesting conversation with their friends. They didn't buy drinks. They didn't brag about themselves. And they made the woman earn more time with them.

Eventually, the PUAs spawned a rule. "Don't say anything about yourself. Be a mystery, and make her earn that information." And it is a good rule for bar pickup. Some elements of this are still valid in open communication.

But there's a good reason why that rule has to change, if you're going to write a successful profile on eHarmony.

The trouble is, most men's profiles are very generic. They don't say a lot about themselves. So, the rule "Don't say anything about yourself" does nothing to separate yourself from the crowd of people asking a desirable woman to start communication.

To separate yourself from the crowd, you need to do something that most people don't. You need to say something about yourself that is interesting.

That doesn't sound very difficult, does it? Unfortunately, most men have difficulty accomplishing this goal.

Why? That's a subject for my next segment... Stay tuned.