Finally, let's talk a little bit about what I call "narrow-interest" searches.
Some are legitimate. They may have moral, ethical, or religious reasons to narrow their search. If (for example) you're an animal activist who is truly dedicated to a vegan vegetarian lifestyle, it probably would be too much to ask for you to meet with someone who won't adapt to how you live your life. And, in these cases, you're probably better off finding potential mates through your social network, and among the activities you attend, rather than trying to find a "match" through eHarmony.
Others... really need to think about what their search says about them.
Say, for example, you did want to narrow your search for a fellow "geek".
Really... do you think that only a fellow geek can understand you?
That you can have nothing in common with anyone else?
If so, you're leading a pretty limited life.
Consider for a moment: Might your life be better if you met a few people who had interests other than yours? Who knows - maybe you'll find some new activities that interest you!
Remember - you're being matched on similar personalities. And someone with a similar personality might have discovered an interest that you've overlooked.
Think about it.
You might enjoy meeting folks who live a little differently than you do.
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2 comments:
Since eHarmony matches you with people that you are compatible with based on their dimensions rather than interests there is a fairly good chance that people you meet have nothing in Common with you - just that they are Compatible with you.
So - does that mean that you wind up trying to find shared interests and commonalities? or do you build those with the people you meet?
I can only speak for myself here, but, generally, I've found my eHarmony tends to provide me with people who match me on intelligence, novelty-seeking, and energy level.
Usually, when personalities match, we'll find some things in common, or that are at least interesting to each other. I've never really struggled with that.
But, yes, there have been a few "one date" wonders that I couldn't connect with.
Can anyone else share their experiences?
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