For a lot of women... dating can become a real chore.
Guys do try to impress. They try to demonstrate why they're "worthy". What they have in common.
When, in fact, men who are worthwhile and have things in common with a woman usually don't have to try to sell those points.
Again, they aren't to be ignored. Mirroring and kinship are useful tools, as I've said in the past.
But, if you're not idealizable as well... you just look like a suckup.
And you don't have to be a "bully" to be idealizable. You just need to look like you bring something to the relationship other than "support".
Talk about things that the woman hasn't experienced before.
If you like music... don't be afraid to talk about performers that don't get a lot of airplay. And get her curious about them. (If you need to be introduced to some new music - Pandora is a good source. And, again, I'm just a fan - they're not paying me to say it.)
On the date? Suggest places that are a little off the beaten path. Anybody can take a woman to Charbucks - and women know that it's a great place to go when a guy wants to "play it safe". But if you take her off the beaten path, and show her something new... you're way ahead of the "boring and safe" guys.
Again, I could go on with things like clothing accessories, other local haunts, interesting stories, and so forth. But they just point out what's central here.
You want to show her what you're about. Not how you can "suck up" or "play it safe".
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For the record, Pandora will probably be going out of business in a month due to the recording industry's ludicrous web playback charges - they're looking at charges of .2 cents per song played per listener, which adds up really quickly and outstrips the money they make on advertising.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/15/AR2008081503367_pf.html
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