No, we're not useful for scammers...

Lately, I have been getting a few emails from people who've been hurt by some of eHarmony's more unscrupulous members.

It does sadden me to hear when people are taken in by scammers. Or they meet someone who is abusive or manipulative in a different way.

But, every once in awhile, I get a letter asking me to stop talking about how people can be more successful on eHarmony. Because, according to them, I may be telling scammers how they can be more effective.

Well... I'm not naive. I thought about this possibility long before I started "eHarmony Cracked". And I have been vigilant to the possibility (even if it did seem slim) that unscrupulous eHarmony members may use my blog's techniques as tools for their own purposes.

So, is it happening? I don't think so. Here's why.

Is there any evidence of scammers using my blog?
First of all, I do look for evidence that scammers are using my blog as an information source.

First of all, I do look at what countries visit my blog. Knowing that many scammers (and potential scammers) come from Russia, Nigeria, and Ghana, I do pay attention when my web analytic software says that I get a visitor from one of these countries.

I rarely get them. And when they do, they usually don't read a lot.

And I'm not hearing any reports of scammers who've been using specific techniques from my blog.

Which doesn't surprise me. Most of the goals of my techniques (for example, getting to the phone quickly) run counter to the goals of the scammers.

Scammers learn from themselves
Unfortunately, scammers have been around for a very long time. Even before "internet dating" became popular, they used newspaper and magazine "personals" sections.

They've had a long time to refine their techniques. And they've been refining them for much longer than I've been writing.

In fact? Sometimes I learn from them. Even if I haven't seen them adopting my techniques.

Non-predatory techniques aren't useful to scammers...
Finally, let's look at the central ideas that inform the eHarmony Cracked philosophy.

I don't tell people what personalities are "attractive". I believe that just about any man, with confidence, can find the women that are right for them.

To me, the journey isn't about "what's attractive to women". It's about believing in the attractiveness that lies within each of us. It's about being genuine, interesting (in our unique ways), and unapologetic.

And it comes from the ability to say, to any woman, "If you don't like this... thanks for not wasting my time. I'll move on to the women that are interested."

And, frankly, it's a philosophy that scammers can't follow.

But it's a philosophy that frees the rest of us.