Premature challenges - they can hurt you.

Another kind of "challenge" that can hurt you is one that is given prematurely.

In the early phases of attraction, the two of you are still probably wondering if you are going to get along.

But, because of eHarmony's implicit encouragement (a wrongheaded notion, in my opinion), it's easy to fall into the trap of asking questions way too soon.

For example, if the two of you walk by a travel poster on your date, and she mentions her dream of moving to Paris, it's fair game to ask interesting follow-up questions.

Fantasizing about dream trips (without inserting yourself in them)? Also fair game.

But, coming out of the blue and asking women, "Where do you want to be in 20 years?" That's just plain weird.

On your first meeting? You're still trying to figure out if you're going to want a second meeting. And you're nowhere close to making long-term plans with each other.

And the fact that you're even asking questions like this so soon... tells her that your level of committment (without knowing her) is way too high. In a scary way.

Remember the attachment model, folks. Early challenges are meant to help you understand her better. And that's it.