Creating a success spiral (Or: "Positive thinking isn't just hippie bullcrap.")

I've talked a lot about the "failure spiral".

It's the mental state that people enter when they're unsuccessful on eHarmony.

As a result of their beliefs that they're failing, men start doing more of the things that identify themselves as undesirable.

Some smart readers might ask, "Instead of creating a failure spiral, can you create a success spiral?"

Absolutely.

And, as hokey as this sounds, it may start with you imagining yourself as the captivating, interesting guy that you want to be.

At first, that image will be a little vague and blurry. That's okay.

But, as you keep on reflecting on who you want to be, you'll start noticing subtle differences between how you behave in your imagination, and how you're acting now.

Notice those differences. And start turning yourself into the guy you're imagining.

Now, I know. There are tons of new-age gurus who give that advice. They might call it "The Secret", "Visualization", "Affirmations", or, even "Prayer".

But, in my opinion, a major reason why these things really work isn't because of supernatural forces. (Although, if you want to say those forces are in play, as well, I won't argue with you.) But all of these techniques are ways of creating a habit of imagining yourself as the person you want to be, and reflecting upon what needs to change in order to become that person.

And that's a good habit to be in.